Third-gender Artist Model
22 years experience as a life drawing artist's model
50 years as a submissive sissy femboy
I identify with:
Berdache/Travesties of Brazil (transgendered prostitutes)
third-gender type
100% female-roled receptive male
I'm completely psychologically feminized/emasculated
1970 to 2000,
I was nearly exclusively a female-roled
receptive sex partner for large intact Male dogs,
jack donkeys and stallion ponies
(female-roled receptive zoosexual)
Third-Gender Identity
I am not a Man or Woman
Psychologically I have a "Pre-Op" Male to Female Homosexual Transexual Identity
The reason I refer to myself as "third-gender" is because I am physically a male, yet psychologically I feel like a female.
"I wish I was Female"
I've been a owned-collared "free Use" submissive, 100% female-roled femboy
since 1978 as Jensen Group harem sissy
I got caged in 1999, I am 100% psychologically feminized/emasculated
("I only model wearing a cage")
It is intented to figure my own self out better, why I am who I am
though this is the exhibitionistic
element for me
because I am a
"exhibitionist"
I truly love modeling and modeling for artist, has no erotic element for me.
My questions I've struggled with all my life,
why do I need treated sexually like a female.
"And wish to be Female"
Living with the complexity of my sexual orientation as a,
"Preferential female-roled receptive zoosexual"
The content is intended for educational, research and journaling purposes Much of the content is in Scenario Form
thus whether fact or fiction, is by interpretation.
If only;
"How things could of turned out dilemma"
"Like a thought experiment of sorts"
or
" Some aspects based on fact "
" A hodgepodge script "
"Thought experiment"
My Web Journal
"Like an Actor preparing for a script in order to be convincing"
"A Study and Outline for my Novels;
fiction novel: "The Jensen Group"
and
"No One needs to be an another more then the Transsexual, No One needs another more then the Exhibitionist"
" As much as Life Drawing can express Reality, it can express Fantasy "
note: most of the imagery on my site is for illustrative purposes to illustrate how I became completely psychologically feminized/emasculated and how my identity revolves around the need to be female-roled both sexually and non-sexually.
All videos, photos, gifs
are for illustrative purposes
Forever editing the site
established
FEBRUARY 19th, 2020
A journey of "Living vicariously in a imagined scenario"
"wishing I was female"
Contact at;
Mom becomes my Cuckoldress
I became Mom's cuckold son because I loved watching Mom having sex with her boyfriends and vicariously wanted to be like Mom, thus I wanted to be sucking cock like Mom was doing.
Once I turned 16 years old, I was performing fellatio on and getting fucked by all the guys that Mom was having sex with.
Cuckolding is all about inadequacy - not being good enough. It involves:
• being cheated on (which already implies inadequacy),
• preferably by a bigger, better, 'alpha' male (creating more feelings of inadequacy) And this man either has a large penis, a good body, or is socially dominant (creating feelings of inadequacy)
• And most importantly, it involves the girl really enjoyingit, submitting to him in a way you've never seen before, moaning more than ever, loving every second, and that's the part which triggers the sense of inadequacy; if she doesn't enjoy it, it doesn't make you feel inadequate. Her enjoyment is what triggers those emotions.
The author and clinical psychologist Stanley Siegel writes: 'Fetishes form as a way to protect us from that same emotional pain. TO disconnect from the pain and turn it into pleasure, we can be protected from the hurtful feelings it may trigger.' (Siegel, 2011)
Eroticization of inadequacy
Understanding the Eroticization of Inadequacy
Eroticization of inadequacy refers to the process of turning feelings of sexual or personal inadequacy into a source of arousal, often within consensual kink or intimate contexts, where vulnerability and perceived shortcomings are reframed as pleasurable experiences.
How It Works in Practice
In consensual sexual contexts, this can appear as sexual inadequacy humiliation — a negotiated activity where one partner highlights the other’s perceived sexual shortcomings (e.g., performance, stamina, technique) as part of the scene.
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Receiving: The partner is “criticized” for sexual inadequacy.
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Giving: The partner imposes such criticism.
This dynamic can be emotionally charged because it touches on deep insecurities, but in a safe, agreed-upon setting, it can paradoxically produce liberation and pleasure.
Psychological Underpinnings
Eroticizing inadequacy taps into vulnerability and self-image. For many, fears of sexual inadequacy are tied to self-worth and intimacy Psychology Today. When these fears are brought into the light in a controlled, caring environment, they can shift from shame to erotic tension. This is similar to the broader concept of eroticization of suffering — reframing discomfort or vulnerability as part of an erotic experience.
What Causes Your Specific Desires? Additionally, your individual fears, feelings, beliefs and associations will determine exactly what part Of this fetish arouses you most. For example, some people with a cuckold fetish also get particularly aroused by some of the following things:
• Chastity
• Small penis humiliation
• Feminization, emasculation, sissification
• Sluttiness
• Verbal humiliation (being called 'pathetic' or a 'loser)
The Reason For Cuckold Fetishes
So, why does emotional pain get turned into pleasure? The reason is largely unprovable because it cant directly be tested. Many psychologists have explained the reason in different ways but they all say that fetishes turn emotional pain into pleasure, for some reason. The reason has been described as a way to:
• 'protect' us from these emotions (Siegel, 2011),
• or to 'escape' from these bad feelings about ourselves (Baumeister, 2014),
• or as a way to 'overcome' these fears/feelings and affirm our self-worth (Morin, 1995),
• or as a fantasy of revenge';
by recreating the pain and hurtful fears that exist inside of ourselves, we overcome them. (Stoller, 1979)
The truth is, it doesn't really matter why. Theyre all different ways of explaining the same thing. somehow, fetishes turn deep-rooted pain into sexual pleasure.
And in the cuckold fetish, it's clearly all about the pain of inadequacy.
From a rational, objective standpoint I imagine that when most Women and Men look at me in the pictures below; they see me as a "Pathetic male"
Yet to live my life I have to embrace the fact that I am a "Pathetic male" and try to be the best person I can be.
Thus,
I have to try to be the best female-roled receptive sex surrogate as I can be, my "self-worth" in a great part is based on my serving my male partners sexually the best that I can.
A major aspect of my exhibitionistic behavior was getting Mom to catch me sucking my own cock, jacking of, sucking Cosso my Great Danes cock, getting bred by Cosso, me sucking my boyfriends cock or my getting butt-fucked by my boyfriends.
My bedroom had two entry doors, one opened into the hallway right by the only bathroom, the other opened into Mom's bedroom direct looking at her bed, thus it was easy for me to peek through that door when slightly cracked open and watch Mom having sex with her boyfriends.
I was also easy for me to expose myself to Mom, in different sexual scenarios.
All I ever wanted to do was be like Mom,
and have sex with Males as she would
