

Third-gender Artist Model
22 years experience as a life drawing artist's model
50 years as a submissive sissy femboy
I identify with:
Berdache/Travesties of Brazil (transgendered prostitutes)
third-gender type
100% female-roled receptive male
I'm completely psychologically feminized/emasculated



Third-Gender Identity
I am not a Man or Woman
Psychologically I have a "Pre-Op" Male to Female Homosexual Transexual Identity
The reason I refer to myself as "third-gender" is because I am physically a male, yet psychologically I feel like a female.
"I wish I was Female"
I've been a owned-collared "free Use" submissive, 100% female-roled femboy
since 1978 as Jensen Group harem sissy
I got caged in 1999, I am 100% psychologically feminized/emasculated

("I only model wearing a cage")
It is intented to figure my own self out better, why I am who I am
though this is the exhibitionistic
element for me
because I am a
"exhibitionist"
I truly love modeling and modeling for artist, has no erotic element for me.
My questions I've struggled with all my life,
why do I need treated sexually like a female.
"And wish to be Female"
Many questions
The content is intended for educational, research and journaling purposes Much of the content is in Scenario Form
thus whether fact or fiction, is by interpretation.
If only;
"How things could of turned out dilemma"
"Like a thought experiment of sorts"
or
" Some aspects based on fact "
" A hodgepodge script "
"Thought experiment"
My Web Journal
"Like an Actor preparing for a script in order to be convincing"
"A Study and Outline for my Novels;
fiction novel: "The Jensen Group"
and
"No One needs to be an another more then the Transsexual, No One needs another more then the Exhibitionist"
" As much as Life Drawing can express Reality, it can express Fantasy "
note: most of the imagery on my site is for illustrative purposes to illustrate how I became completely psychologically feminized/emasculated and how my identity revolves around the need to be female-roled both sexually and non-sexually.
All videos, photos, gifs
are for illustrative purposes
A journey of "Living vicariously in a imagined scenario"
"wishing I was female"
Forever editing the site
established
FEBRUARY 19th, 2020

Contact at;
Getting Started as an Artist's Model
From a very early age I had a passion for sketching/drawing











Problem with Exhibitionism
"Type of Scenarios I exposed myself in"
( 1990-1996 )







Exposing myself to ladies at fast food drive-up



Exposing myself on golf courses


This is what was on my mind



Your Pathetic



My RX-7, the car that I used when exposing myself


I hoped the ladies would call me pathetic or
humiliated me verbally


So pathetic

Bet you suck a lot of cock
and get
fucked in ass
I preferred to expose myself to a group of ladies, in hopes that I'd seem less threatening.


I'd never get much closer than above, then I'd run away
Exposing Myself in public for first time
Ada was my very best friend since age 12,
Aunt Becky's daughter and also a Jensen group member
Ada with Eric at stallion training seminar- meets Tom
Tuesday May 14, 1990
Ada meets Tom,
Eric, Bobby and Ada were at a 3-day Stallion horse training seminar up by Chicago
First night after first day of seminar:
Ada calls Michael from hotel, 7 am Monday morning
Michael and Aunt Becky are sitting at kitchen table when Ada calls,
Michael answers phone,
Ada says, "hi Michael, what you doing?".
Michael, "Aunt Becky and I just finished having breakfast, she just left to take a shower, we were just going over the plans for the new Quonset house to be built at estates 3, how is the seminar going up there?".
Ada replies, " it a great seminar, but I need to tell you something, I met a guy here, he is about our age, he is a horse trainer similar to Eric in that, it's what he does for a living, please don't be mad, but he fucked me today at the seminar site in his van twice, he is here with me now and we just got done fucking again, Eric, Tom and myself, I told him I want him to come down and join the group".
Michael replies, "you must really like him then, what is his thoughts on joining the group?".
Ada replies, "he is pretty certain that he is going to, I told him that your my bed partner, that your a femboy and that if he does he has to fuck you as well, he has to let you suck his cock, he says he will".
Michael, "what is his name?".
Ada, "his name is Tom".
Michael, "does Eric think it would work out having Tom as a trainer here at the Jensen group?".
Ada, "yeah he does, I've told Tom how the group works as far as being a Polyamory type structure, Eric and Tom just finished double teaming me about 15 minutes ago, and believe me they fucked me silly, Tom had a great time, he isn't has hung as Eric, yet Tom has a nice big fat 8 inch cock and knows how to use it, Tom going sleep with me tonight and likely tomorrow night, Eric and I both know we will have to be in quarantine for a month now, as will Tom, but we feel it is worth it to get Tom to join the group".
Michael, "so Tom is 18 years old, was he raised around horses?".
Ada, "yep, he lives in Wyoming, yet he is really here visiting his older brother who lives here in the Chicago area, he likes the idea of living closer to his brother if he joins our group, Michael I think I'm in love with him, he feels the same, I even told him he could get me pregnant if he wants to".
Michael, "wow, you must be crazy about him then, I'm happy for you, just do what you feel is right, you've got my full support, maybe Tom could run and get a STD test there, is Tom planning on coming home with you and Eric".
Ada, "yes, that is the plan".
Michael, "have you told Tom that you're a Preferential receptive zoosexual for dogs and equines?.
Ada, " yes, I had to if he and I are going to have a long term relationship, I told him what you and I do routinely every day as far as getting bred by all the dogs, sucking the stallion's cocks, don't tell Aunt Becky, but Tom has ejaculated in my pussy three times already, I want to have his baby, he says he is fine with me being a Preferential zoosexual, he just wants to live with me, I did tell him you and I would have to talk about me becoming Tom's full-time bed partner, yet you and I still have continue being together as we do daily seeing the dogs and stallions just as we have always done, I can't change that part of my life".
Michael, "Can I tell Aunt Becky that you let Tom ejaculated in your pussy and you want to have his baby?
Ada, "yes, please tell her, I'm a coward to"
Michael, "ok I will, we will work it all out, Do you think should become his full-time bed partner?
Ada, "yes, I'm worried about hurting your feeling so badly, I just have never met a guy like Tom, where it is like love at first site, which it was, he and I were sitting in the stands together for maybe a hour talking, then we raced to his van fucked like crazy, came back to seminar, after another hour we were back in the van fucking again, he fucked me three times during the seminar, then he and Eric double teamed me tonight".
Michael, "no, it turns me on, I can only imagine how horny you and Tom must be".
Ada, "yeah, I'm burning up in heat for sure, Tom can fuck me and cum in my pussy all he wants!".
Michael, "getting pregnant will also keep your tits lactating good".
Ada, "yeah, I love breast feeding, I told Tom that I'd breast feed the puppies, he even sucked some milk from my tits and loved it".
Michael, "it will be nice having you and Tom's baby in Aunt Becky's house, and the baby will get plenty attention from the young guys and girls you know that, built in baby-sitters"
Ada, "yeah, that is one reason that I told Tom that I wanted him to get me pregnant, I knew we have help with the baby while you and I serve the dogs and stallions, I think Tom likes that I am a Preferential receptive zoosexual, I told him he'd be the only guy fucking me unless he wants other guys fucking me with him present, like with Eric tonight, I'll see you Thursday about noon, bye, bye".
Michael, "bye".
Michael said, " love you ", as Ada hung up.
7:30 am Tuesday morning (Tuesday May 14, 1990)
All Michael wanted now was for the time to pass, he was in a bad state, a state of mind that was consuming him, he'd faked it with Ada and he was feeling so inadequate as a Man, he called to Cunnington he came running followed by Edward, once to him, he guided them into the stables, then lead Cunnington through the door which lead to the wash area, from there a ramp lead up into the house, getting him into the house Michael gave him a treat as he said to him, " I'm just going run to town a minute" then I went back out to the stables, told Edward that he'd be right back.
Michael then walked out to his rx7 completely nude, It was hot out now, he just started driving, and toward town. Michael simply was on mission, a mission that could take his mind off Ada, as soon as he got to town he started looking for a drive-up window, he just drove around to different fast food drive-ups looking for one where he could see there was a older (21 or older) female working.
Michael knew of a Burger King that he'd been to quite few times it had a high window, so he'd know a lady at the drive-up window would be able to see his erect cock, it wasn't far so he headed there, once there he covered his cock as he pulled into parking lot, parked so he could see who was working the drive up.
There was fairly mature appearing female who was working the drive-up window, it was about 7:40 am, and surprisingly not real busy. After pondering in his mind a minute, "if he should go through the drive-up and expose himself to her", just the thought had him extremely aroused, he decided to do it, as he ponder the idea to be seen by the female at the drive-up, the "idea of being seen by the female as an affirmation of an inadequate, pathetic male or was he seeking humiliation? came into his mind". Completely naked, with his cock hard and slick as pre-cum flowed from his cock head, he pulled up to the order box, her voice came on, "came I help you?" she said, Michael said, "coffee black please", she replied, "please pull ahead to the window". Michael now mindlessly aroused, could not stop himself, he pulled up to the window stopped and looked up to her as she looked down into the rx7 at him, once he knew she was actually seeing his erect cock by her shocked reaction, that confirmed that she could clearly see his erect cock, then she suddenly took on a very serious look on their face, yet she then took his money from his hand for the order, then handed him his change back, as she was looking down into the car handing Michael his change, Michael's hips started jerking and he started ejaculating hands-free involuntarily onto his stomach as she watched".
Drive up lady, "wow, you were really horny weren't you?, you didn't even need to stroke your cock!".
Michael meekly mumbled, "yes, I sorry, I just for some reason got so excited by exposing myself like this".
Drive up lady, "don't be sorry, I liked watching you squirt your cum, and you have a nice cock, I'll get your coffee, be right back".
She returns with Michael's coffee then she hands it to him as she says, "good show, do you feel inadequate as man or something like that, maybe your a homosexual, am I right?, you know what your doing is really quite pathetic, if so, face it, you just can't be a real man?".
Michael mumbled, "yes, I've always been a pathetic sissy homosexual, so I'm not sure why I'm even turned on by exposing myself to you".
Drive up lady, "no worry, I liked seeing you do that, my brother had same problem, that is he is an effeminate homosexual and he had a problem being a exhibitionist as well".
Michael drives away, and heads home feeling ashamed that he just did that.
Once home, Michael was going crazy now, Edward wanted to go back out, so he lead him back out to the paddock, he thought about offering Edward his bottom, so Edward could stud him but it was hot, and Michael was needing a strong drink so he walked back into the house and made a strong long island ice tea. Michael sat on the couch, Cunnington hopped up and laid his long body down, then his head on Michael's lap, Michael pet him as he flipped through the channels on T.V, nothing good on so he put in a v.h.s movie that he liked. "Lonesome dove", is always worth seeing over and over so he put it in to watch, still Michael's goofy mind kept wandering back to Ada, how was she doing, he so much wished he was there looking over her, making sure she was alright, he could tell Cunnington was missing her a lot too.
Michael simple couldn't stop feeling bad about exposing himself to the young lady at the drive up window, he went out to the kitchen, found a pen and paper, and wrote a note for the young lady, it said, hi my name is Michael "I am so sorry that I exposed myself to you earlier today, I am really a normally a stable person, yet just lately I seem to be under going a sexual identity crisis, in the tune of, "I a homosexual transsexual type, yet mixed up", I needed to say I am sorry, your welcome to call me; 342-6758, sincerely Michael.
Michael then went out and hopped in the rx-7 and headed to the Burger King to see if she might still be working.
Once Michael got to the Burger King, he parked and watched the drive-up for her, sure enough she was still there, so he drove over to the ordering station, he recognized her voice, and instantly got fully erect, Michael ordered a small coffee, even though he came to appolgize, he quickly got his shorts pulled down to his feet she said, "please pull up to the window", there were no cars in front of him or behind him, as he pulled up to the window, she was smiling, as he stopped, she leaned out and looked down at his body, then looked Michael in her eyes as she said, "oh my sissy-boy with the hard cock is back, can you cum again for me again?"".
Michael instantly started ejaculating in front of her,
Michael meekly said, " I'm sorry then handed her the note, as he finishing ejaculating in front of her, she quickly opened it and read it, then said, as she looked back at him, "is it ok if I call you when I take a break in about an hour?".
Michael meekly replied, "I'd like that a lot".
She said, "my name is Elle, I'll call you in about a hour when I take my break, I really would like to talk to you and watch you masturbate and cum for me again too!".
Michael drove off, then back home.
Once home, Michael walked Edward and Cunnington down to the highway, checked the mailbox, no mail, so the walked back to the house, Michael figured it had been about 45 minutes since he pulled out of Burger King and now they were back up at the house, so he put Edward and Cunnington out in the paddock. then waited by the phone for Elle to call and wondering why she wanted to talk.
Elle the female at the Burger King drive-up Michael exposed himself to calls:
2pm--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael had drank about half of his beer when the phone rang, he picked it up and some what meekly said, "hi this is Michael".
Elle said, "hi Michael this is Elle, I hope this is a good time?"
Michael replied, "yes, I'm so glad you called on time, thanks so much, I've been pacing ever since I exposed myself to you, and I'm happy to see I didn't harm you emotionally, that was very selfish of me".
Elle replies, " let's put it behind us, I'm fine, but I am very interested in talking to you because you are a exhibitionist and a sissy homosexual type and my guess is that loves to suck cock and get butt fucked, am I right?".
Michael meekly replies, "yes your right".
Elle, "would you like me to watch you sucking cock?, would that turn you on?".
James and Elle are at her parent's house
Michael meekly replies, "yes".
Elle, "I have a young friend, he is 16 years old, he has never had sex with anyone but me, so he is Std free/safe, I'd love to see him cum in your mouth, he has a huge cock, would you suck him off while I watch, then have him cum in your mouth, would you like that?'.
Michael meekly replies,"yes, I love sucking cock and swallowing cum".
Elle, "I've been jacking him off for a few weeks now, I told him if he let a guy suck his cock I might let him fuck me, he is here right now, I'll him put on the phone, I want you to ask him like a good sissy if you can suck his cock ok, his name is James, here he is".
James, "hi Michael, Elle says you love sucking big cock, I'm 10 inches and fat, you want to suck it?".
Michael, "yes, please I so much want Elle to watch me as I suck your cock if that's ok, I'm a good submissive sissy boy"
James, "good, I'm looking for a loyal submissive sissy to suck my cock routinely, I want sucked quite bit, even a few times a day, you interested?'.
Michael, "how many times a day?, when can I met you?".
James says, "right now, you might be sucking me on the weekends as many 5 times a day, I'm at Elle's house, 124 oak st, near water tower".
Michael, "I'm a sissy I need to suck cock constantly and get butt-fucked constantly, I'll head in right now, after I clean my bottom, be there in about 15 minutes".
James, "see you then"
Michael arrives, then walks up to the front door and knocks, Elle opens the door within 20 seconds,
Elle, "hi Michael, so glad you made it, follow me James is ready, horny and waiting for you".
Elle leads Michael into the living, there is James sitting on the couch completely naked, legs spread and his cock fully erect.
Elle says, "James looks nice wouldn't say, look at those huge hanging balls".
Michael quickly walks to James, get on his knees in front of James and then gently starts licking and sucking James's massive balls".
James says, "that's a good sissy suck those big balls".
Elle says, "good boy Michael, you look good sucking, James needs a good submissive sissy like you ".
Michael mumbles, "oh you taste so good James, I want to be your sissy so much".
James says as he moans, "you do a good job giving me blow-jobs, maybe I'll start fucking you, would you like that?".
Michael mumbles, "yes, so much"
James, "your clean and ready to be fucked now right?.
Michael moans as his licks his way up James cock shaft the meekly says, "I cleaned my bottom for you just in case you wanted to try my boy-pussy out to"
James, "I'd like that, suck me some more, then I'll do that".
Elle, "I'll go get a towel and some vasoline, will that work for you Michael?".
Michael pauses from sucking on James's cock head and meekly says, "yes thats works thank you".
James says, "Michael, you going be able to serve me every day, maybe twice a day?".
Michael meekly says, "yes, I want so much to be your full time loyal submissive sissy please take me as yours and use me".
James, "if your a good sissy, I'll be giving you a lot of cock and cum, you love swallowing cum?"
Michael, "yes so much, please cum in my mouth all you wish, I crave cum so much".
Elle gets the big towel laided out on the floor. then sits next to James on the couch"
James says, "Michael, get on your hands and knees on the towel".
Michael turns and crawls out on the towel, then waits as Elle lubes up James's cock with vasoline.
James gets on his knees behind Michael and slowly pushes the huge cock into Michael's boy-pussy.
James, "oh yeah, your boy-pussy is nice and tight".
Michael whimpers, then moaning, then begins begging, "oh James your cock feels so wonderful, oh please fuck the man completely out of me, tell me I can never be a man please".
James, "that a good sissy, I plan on fucking every ounce of maleness out of you".
Michael moans, "yes, I need to feel like a girl so badly".
James is soon steadily pushing his 10 inch thick hard cock all the way into Michael's butt then pulling all the way out as Michael constantly whimpers and squeals.
James, "yeah squeal like a good sissyboy"
Elle says, "Michael a tight sissy boy pussy, that's just what James needs for his huge cock"..
Elle runs and gets a bowl off warm soapy water and wash cloth and returns and sits it in front of Michael's left hand on the towel
James thrusts into Michael firmly for another 20 seconds, then pulls his cock out and shuffles around so he is front Michael.
James, "now open your mouth wide so I can fill your mouth full of my cum, Michael opens wide and holds out his tongue.
Elle says, "thats a good sissy"
James moans as he strokes his own cock fast, "here it comes Michael"
James moans and squirts as glob after glob of cum blasts into Michael's mouth, finally James finishes, and Michael swallows all the cum in his mouth down.
James, "wonderful Michael, now clean my cock and balls up good"
James kneels before Michael, while Michael gently, thoroughly cleans James cock up, then Michael kisses the big cock head, looks up at James.
Michael, "thank you so much for treating me like a good sissy, it all I can be".
James says, "your going get it a lot, I want you here at 9am every morning, here at noon everyday, then here at 8pm every night, with your boy pussy clean a ready".
Michael says, "I will be, I want you so much".
James sits on the couch, then says, "Michael come just lick and suck my balls for awhile".
Michael crawls over to James, then starts licking and sucking James's huge hanging balls, Michael moaning with desire all the while.
James, "thats a good sissy, you'll do me just fine, keep doing that until I hard again, then I'll fuck that boy pussy of your's again, would like that?'.
Michael meekly mumbles, "yes so much I'd like it".
James says, "Elle thanks for finding me a sissy boy who clearly craves big cock and can handle it"
Elle, "yes Michael will be a good sissy for you James, he is proving that"
About 10 minutes passes, Michael licking and sucking James cock and balls, James's cock has grown erect again.
James, "Michael I want you to get so you can deep-throat my cock, show what you can do please"
Michael gets up on his knee so he can suck better then opens his mouth wide, then slowly lowers mouth down onto James firm hard cock, the cock goes further and further into Michael's mouth then throat until all 10 inch is in Michael's mouth, Michael holds the entire cock down his throat then comes up for a breath, the swallows James's entire cock again.
Elle giggles and says, "James don't ever expect me to do that".
Michael comes back up for a breath,
James says, "Michael, get ready I 'm needing to cum in your mouth again!".
Michael wraps this lips tightly around the big cock head and strokes the thick shaft with James starts ejaculating into Michael mouth as James squirms and moans until he finishes cumming, Michael then softly sucks and licks James's cock clean.
Elle, "Michael, you were born to suck cock, but now I need you to suck my pussy please".
Michael helps Elle get her shorts completely off she lays on the towel face up and spreads her legs, Michael then eagerly starts licking and sucking her pussy"
Elle is quickly squealing and squirming about on the towel, within 30 seconds, Elle is moaning out, "I'm going cum Michael, it feels so good".
Elle sits up, leans forward and kisses Michael on the forehead.
Elle, "your a great sissy, I need to keep you"
Michael says, "thanks, I want to please you two so much, yet I need to explain something first".
Elle with a concerned look replies, "what is it you need to explain?'.
Michael, "I belong to a group that was started in 1961 by my Aunt Becky, she is cultural anthropologist, the group has a Matriarchy/Matrilineality/Polyandry/Polygamy type structure, it is semi-closed group, I've been what is called a Harem sissy for the group since I was 12 years old, so I very experienced sexually as a sissy free-use submissive, as a Harem sissy for the group, meaning my primary role is to serve the group members sexually".
Elle, "I need to explain something as well, I'm a psychologist, my specialty is "human sexual behavior, my parents own the Burger King, I'm just helping them out, until I start my new teaching job at the University starts this fall".
Michael, "maybe you can help me with this being a exhibitionist thing then"
Elle looks Michael seriously and says, "maybe, yet I wondering, Michael is your Aunt Becky's last name Phillips?".
Michael with a shocked look says meekly, "yes it is"
Elle jumps up, "Michael, oh my god, can I call Aunt Becky right now, we are old friends and I've longed to see her for many years".
Michael says, "yes, she should be home, or the three of us can just drive out".
Elle looks at James and says, "get dressed, your going with us right now".
They all get dressed then head out, to the cars,
Elle says, "James you follow, I want to talk with Michael while he drives"
James says, "ok"
James and hops in his car, while Elle and Michael hop in Michael's RX-7
Michael pulls out and heads for the farm.
Elle says, "Michael, sorry I'm being crazy excited, but Aunt Becky and I worked together on the Zuni Indian reservation years ago, I haven't seen her since"
Michael says, "yes I remember when she went there, she still talks fondly of that, and very fondly of you to Elle, she has longed to see you as well"
Elle, "she talked to me about the Jensen group back then, about you, that you were a feminine homosexual transsexual type boy and a female-roled receptive zoosexual".
Michael, "yes that is me, that was 1974 I think".
Elle, "yep, oh this is unbelievable meeting you this way, I love it though, I know right now I want you as my submissive sissyboy forever, this all is a dream come true Michael".
Michael says, "I never had anyone say I was a dream come true before, thanks, I know right now that I want to be owned by you as your collared submissive sissy forever".
Elle, "you really sure Michael, would you be you excited about watching James fucking me?".
Michael, "I was really excited before, now I'm uncontrollable excited".
Elle, "like when you got to watch your mom getting fucked?".
Michael, "yes, Aunt Becky must of told you a lot about me back in those days".
Elle, "yes, we were both very interested in what made you tick and we were lovers as well, I was her submissive".
Michael, "yes, Aunt Becky is a Dom type, I'd love to watch you sucking Aunt Becky, that would be wonderful".
Elle, "how do you feel about taking the Man role sexually?".
Michael, "I can't, my identity is 100% female-roled receptive, I want to just feel like a girl, so I have to be female-roled for males, that is my true role whether I like it or not, I have a insatiable desire to suck cock and get butt-fucked, always have".
Elle, "I need you to know that James is safe, and a virgin, I've been jacking him off for about a week now and thought you might like his big cock, so I made the deal with him because I wanted to study you, see what made you tick, I am working on my PhD in human sexual behavior and part of that is male exhibitionism, homosexuality, transsexuality are some of the types of sexual behaviors that I study".
Michael, "why did you trust me enough to take it to the point of actually meeting you and James?".
Elle, "because you brought that note back and seemed very sincere, I felt you might be a sissy homosexual type, and here I had been masturbating this very sexy young male virgin for a week, the idea just popped into head, then James agreed to do it".
Michael, "can I ask how old are you Elle?".
Elle, "I'm 39".
Michael, "Do you also like young guys, Aunt Becky does, and young ladies?".
Elle, "yes, I prefer 16 to 18 year old guys, virgins if possible".
Michael, "beware, I know Aunt Becky will want you to come live with us in the group, all the boys start having sex when age 16, as well as the other Jensen group females age 16 years old and older, so it will be good place for you".
Elle, "you think Aunt Becky really will want me as her submissive again?".
Michael, "yep, 100% certain".
Elle, "oh, that would be so wonderful".


When I got caught exposing myself - 1996
Start modeling nude for Art Classes
"fall of 1996"
"The true motivator being, I needed to stop exposing myself to stranger (ladies)"
also because I loved to draw, thus wanted to be around artists.
Seen Ad in local Arts publication,
"Nude Artist's Models Wanted"


A question I had since the days of being a exhibitionist?:
"Would I have ever exposed myself as I did if I'd gotten the vulvoplasty surgery and thus had a pussy instead of a penis?"


