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Wearing a "Cock-Cage" is very important for my Identity

"I need to show my men that I am completely feminized/emasculated psychologically"

"I need to show that I am 100% female-roled, completely submissive"

" I need to show I am a free-use type submissive"

As I always was with my male canine and equine partners from 1975 to 2000,

I want to show that I am constantly "in Heat" and want "Bred" as often as possible.

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Once I turned 16 years of age, I became a "harem sissy", which is the age of consent in the state in which I live, I was able to serve all the Jensen group males 16 years old and older as the groups "harem sissy". That was 1978, I joined the Jensen Group in 1975, once I went to live with Aunt Becky on the farm. There were 209 Jensen group males that I started serving sexually as the group's first "harem sissy", I was performing fellatio on all 209 as often as possible, as well as getting studded by them.

So my entire life has been devoted to serving the Jensen group males by sexually pleasuring them, once I became a harem sissy I began performing fellatio on at least 4 men daily and was getting studded at least 2 times daily.

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Original Jensen group how it started

Albert had saved his money and bought a new Lawnboy lawn mowered, started mowing peoples yards in in 1957 at age 12, in a year he had to many yards he that could mow by himself, so he bought another new Lawnboy and he hired a 16 year old friend to help, soon another new Lawnboy, and another 16 year old friend, two friends Chris and Alder started having sex with Belle, my Aunt Becky, Caroline and Susan 

By chance after Albert had turned 16 (1961) he started mowing the yard of one of the couples of a group of 23 young black couples, who had formed their own group due the fact all the husbands were cuckolds, by forming that group all the members could have sex with each other, Amelia one of the 23 wives of that group, soon found herself very attracted to Albert, Amelia and her husband Hank soon were talking about inviting Albert to start having sex with Amelia and maybe get her pregnant if Albert agreed.

They both agreed that it would be ok since Albert was a virgin and safe of STD's and if Albert penetrated her anally, unless he agreed on the pregnancy idea, plus Amelia could not have sex with Hank or any of the other 22 group members while Amelia was having sex with Albert, Amelia agreed.

Following that, Amelia told Albert about Hank and herself having the discussion about having him to start having sex with her if he'd like that and they'd like to have Albert get her pregnant as a -sperm donor- if he would agree to sign a surrogacy contract, well Albert did like that and signed the surrogacy contract, Amelia and Albert had sex right then, and Amelia and Albert were soon having sex nearly everyday, and only having sex with Albert, Albert soon became part of the 23 couple group and all of the 23 husbands were performing fellatio on Albert, and Albert was studding all of the 23 wives anally.

Well Amelia was pregnant after a month, but she wanted Albert to keep having sex with her, Hank got Albert a job at the golf course were he belonged and worked as a golf pro, this in turn allowed Albert to start meeting many black singles both male and female and married couples.

Albert by this time had 7 different young black guys, Chris and Alder who were 22 now joined the group along with Belle, Aunt Becky, Susan and Caroline, within weeks Caroline had found a -sperm donor- and was pregnant with her son Johnny, Aunt Becky was off to school except for summer break, both Susan and Belle were having sex with Albert and all 23 of the group males who now had all gotten vasectomy's .

Soon all 7 of those black guys working for Albert had each gotten one of the wives of the 23 couples pregnant as -sperm donors-, yet were not going to be able to join the group as Albert had due to future incest problems that they now worried might occur in the group, they could see possible could happen in 16 years if their these children remained in the group once they themselves turned 16 years old. 

All future pregnancy's of the remaining 15 wives were with -sperm donors- who would not join the group, and only had sex with that one wife until she became pregnant.


Caroline got pregnant by -sperm donor- Sam and had her son Johnny in 1962
 

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Once the guys found out that I loved performing fellatio and I always swallow, I was in high demand, thus routinely performing for all of the Jensen group guys in that capacity, I heard quite often from them that the ladies just never seem to interested in performing fellatio, and the majority didn't swallow their semen.

Was it good for you too?: An analysis of gender differences in oral sex practices and pleasure ratings among heterosexual Canadian university students
February 2016, The Canadian journal of human sexuality


Oral sex has become a standard component of the heterosexual sexual script, though little is known about the level of pleasure men and women experience from giving and receiving oral sex and the extent to which relationship context is associated with levels of pleasure. The purpose of this study was to investigate gender differences in giving and receiving oral sex, and associations with pleasure experienced and partner type. Participants were 899 heterosexual university students who reported on their sexual activities in their most recent sexual encounter in an online survey. Over two-thirds of participants reported that their last sexual encounter included giving and/or receiving oral sex. More women (59%) than men (52%) reported giving oral sex to their partner. More men (63%) than women (44%) reported receiving oral sex. Most men (73%) and women (69%) reported that receiving oral sex was "very pleasurable." Though most participants rated giving oral sex as at least "somewhat pleasurable," men were significantly more likely than women to report that giving oral sex was very pleasurable (52% vs. 28%). Overall, ratings of pleasure for giving oral sex were higher for men, but no gender differences were found for overall pleasure ratings of receiving oral sex. Regardless of gender, higher pleasure ratings were reported when giving and receiving oral sex with more committed partners compared to more casual ones. Findings highlight the utility of discussing gendered norms for sexual behaviour with young people, and including pleasure-enhancing information in sexual health education programs.

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Wearing a Cage due to "Genital Avoidance" dynamic

"I don't want my penis touched or seen by my men, my duty is to pleasure them, not to be pleasured, they a pleasing me by allowing me to please them"

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Solid Evidence That Pre-Op HSTS Are Genitally “Avoidant”

Posted in Confirming Two Type Taxonomy, Female-to-Male, Transsexual Field Studies by Kay Brown on August 25, 2024

In a study from Spain, a team looked at sexual behavior of both MTF and FtM transsexuals before medical transition services. Given that this was from Spain, I made a little bet with myself that since I have noted before in other papers that very few gynephilic transwomen transition there, this study would show the same trend, in spite of it being a relatively individualistic culture. And indeed this was case, with only two of the 147 transwomen indicating that they were exclusively gynephilic and only five that they were bisexual. Of course, as always, some may be misrepresenting their sexual orientation. In fact, given that the average age of intake at the clinic was 27.8 (SD = 8.6), range 15 to 41, along with a comment that a number of them were married or in stable long term relationships, this would indicate that more than seven of the individuals were NOT HSTS. However, with such a high percentage of exclusively androphilic (HomoSexual TransSexual=HSTS) transwomen, this study has very high statistical signal strength compared to more mixed study groups. The study is open access so I strongly recommend reading it for yourself, but I do want to point out some of the important points found in the data.

The key metric I am interested in is how many of the MTF HSTS are genitally “avoidant”? That is to say, that they really would rather a sexual partner NOT touch their pre-op genitalia. Of the 147 transwomen 113 (77%) indicated that they were avoidant. If we assume that the seven non-HSTS transwomen were not among the avoidant (and there is good reason to assume that), the percentage is 81%. Further, although we all know that sometimes we give in to the desires of a partner to please them, even when personally unpleasant, 94 (67%) indicated that they NEVER allow their partners to touch their pre-op genitalia.

It is interesting to note that for FtM HSTS, they too are predominately genitally AND chest avoidant.

A word of caution in examining the percentage data in the paper’s tables. They often do not relate to the full study group, but the subgroup that has indicated any of the target behaviors being listed. This is very bad practice on the part of the authors, but I’ve seen this kind of confusion error before so was able to spot it, as the numbers didn’t make sense until I found the true denominator.

Another editorial comment about the paper: They describe such avoidant behavior as “ego dystonic” regarding their “sexuality”, which it is NOT. It is a consequence of the type of somatic gender dysphoria experienced by HSTS (as opposed to AGP transwomen who as a general rule, are not “avoidant”). This is confusing two different psychological constructs. Historically, AGPs have been described as being ego-dystonic because in the course of moving from part-time cross-dresser to full time transwomen, their desire to transition is usually at odds with their original identity as men. But, for HSTS, there is never a time when this is true. Their gender identity and desire to transition are in alignment and is described as “ego-syntonic”.

Again, this study provided strong, solid, data to back up the earlier studies and conclusion that HSTS, both MTF and FtM are predominantly preferentially genitally “avoidant”, experiencing severe somatic gender dysphoria. This phenomena is important in that many, if not most HSTS, avoid “chasers”, gynandromorphophilic (GAMP) men, who preferentially seek out pre-op transwomen and have a strong desire to touch / fondle their pre-op genitalia. These men are often in denial that HSTS are genitally avoidant and have been known to get irrationally angry, even to the point of character assignation, when HSTS commentators bring this to their attention.

I am intensely "Genitally “Avoidant”

I consider myself to be a Pre-Op HSTS type (Homosexual Transsexual) in that psychologically I have always felt I should be female and only desire to be a female-roled sexual partner for my partners.

Gender dysphoria is defined by severe or persistent distress associated with an incongruence between one’s gender identity and biological sex.

Due to the Gender dysphoria, I want my male sex partners to see me as being only capable of being like a female sexual partner for them, so I desire to hide my "maleness" from my male partners. 

Thus I very much do not want a male partner to have any interest in my penis.

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Thus wearing a "Cock Caged"

greatly helps show that I am psychologically emasculated

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It is extremely important that my male partners see that I only want to perform sexually like I am a female.

I identified as an Berdache type

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I only desire to be female like

I only take the female receptive role sexually

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In historical text the "Genital Avoidant" characteristic behavior was revealed as well:

Another distinctive aspect of berdache sex is that during foreplay and actual intercourse they generally do not like to have their genitals touched.

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One can see from this alone why a third-gender type/male to female transsexual type and homosexual men don't make good partners.

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This is a dynamic of myself preferring to be a "female-roled receptive zoosexual", I very much know my male equine and canine lovers only want sexually in the female-role (they are hetersexual so to speak).

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"I sure don't want a male partner that wants to perform fellatio on me or wants me to use my penis like a man and penetrate him"

Wish I could look like them!

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I very much identify with the Berdache role/identity

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In a sense, Native American cultures have institutionalized and socially sanctioned homosexual relations by utilizing the berdache role as the preferred same sex partner.

When men want to have male/male sex, they are encouraged to do so with a berdache.

Berdaches frequently are available for sex with both unmarried adolescent boys and married men who occasionally seek out same sex partners.

Because of this, female prostitution is not needed.

Traditional berdaches were also available as sexual partners during hunts and in war parties. This was yet another reason why they were welcomed on these excursions.

The usual sexual behavior of the berdache is to take the passive role in anal intercourse and to perform fellatio, a distinctive aspect of berdache sex is that during foreplay and actual intercourse they generally do not like to have their genitals touched.    (genital avoidance)

Just an interesting Option I came across 

 

 

Homosexual and Transsexual Narcissists - Sam Vaknin  https://www.articlesfactory.com/articles/sexuality/homosexual-and-transsexual-narcissists.html 

 

Question: What is the typical profile of a homosexual narcissist? Why is he always on a lookout for new victims? Is he lying or is he telling the truth when he says that he "wants to get laid" by one and all?

 

Research failed to find any substantive difference between the psychological make-up of a narcissist who happens to have homosexual preferences – and a heterosexual narcissist. They both are predators, devouring Narcissistic Supply Sources as they go. Narcissists look for new victims, the way tigers look for prey – they are hungry. Hungry for adoration, admiration, acceptance, approval, and any other kind of attention.

 

There is, however, one element, which might be unique to homosexuals: the fact that their self-definition hinges on their sexual identity. I know of no heterosexual who would use his sexual preferences to define himself almost fully. Homosexuality has been inflated to the level of a sub-culture, a separate psychology, or a myth. This is typical of persecuted minorities. However, it does have an influence on the individual.

Preoccupation with body and sex makes most homosexual narcissists SOMATIC narcissists. Moreover, the homosexual makes love to a person of the SAME sex – in a way, to his REFLECTION. In this respect, homosexual relations are highly narcissistic and autoerotic affairs.

The only thing that I really agree with is that our self-definition likely hinges more on our Identity then heterosexual males

Relating to above paragraph

Though I don't fit the criteria to be diagnosed as a narcissists, I very much view my being a "female-roled receptive submissive sex surrogate for males" my identity as a person/female-roled male is me and my way a of my life, my purpose, my passion, I very much have strived to be the very best;

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"female-roled receptive submissive sex partner for my male partners"

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I am diagnosed as a Highly Sensitive Person

 

The characteristics of a Highly Sensitive Person

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14 Signs That You’re a Highly Sensitive Person

If you relate to most of the following, you can confidently call yourself an HSP.

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1. You're extremely empathetic.

HSPs possess a keen ability to sense others’ feelings, needs, insecurities, etc. Science proves it: HSPs are shown to have more active mirror neurons, which are responsible for understanding others' emotions. Your emotional intelligence and empathy make you a master at communication, conflict resolution, and inspiring others to action. Unfortunately, you may also slip into people-pleasing and putting others’ needs ahead of your own.

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2. You cherish reflection.

As a highly sensitive person, you operate best when you have time and space to reflect before responding. You pick up on nuances and are skilled at making connections and integrating complex information. It's essential to give yourself the chance to process all that information you're constantly taking in.

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3. You hear “don't take things personally” (a lot).

HSPs tend to react more strongly to situations. You may sometimes wonder why you are so deeply affected by the world around you while others brush things off easily. HSPs may feel like there is something wrong with them for being so sensitive. As a result, many spend years denying their gifts and strengths.

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4. You freeze under pressure.

Working under a deadline might make you anxious, and speaking up in meetings is terrifying. Having a giant to-do list is overwhelming. That’s why it is essential to find ways to manage your time, so you don’t become overstimulated.

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5. You're at home inside your head.

HSPs have vibrant inner lives. This means you are an incredibly original, creative thinker who is extremely self-aware. On the flip side, it’s not uncommon for you to overthink and over-analyze day-to-day experiences, causing you to veer off into self-consciousness and self-criticism.

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6. You have a tough time with negative feedback.

HSPs react more strongly to criticism than non-HSPs. Therefore, they may go out of their way to avoid being criticized, such as by working extra hard, which leads to burnout.

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7. You're deliberate in the way you make decisions.

HSPs often struggle to make decisions; they fear choosing the “wrong” option even if the stakes are low. Because HSPs are so conscientious about how their decisions impact others or how they may be perceived,

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8. You're on top of the details.

HSPs are extremely perceptive. They pick up on the specifics of situations and notice the tiniest changes. This detail orientation is a positive trait in many scenarios. You’re highly attuned to others’ likes, dislikes, and preferences, and that perceptiveness can win you friends and allies right off the bat. On the flip side, your meticulousness can turn into perfectionism if you don’t manage it carefully. Remember, sometimes done is better than perfect.

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9. You exude kindness.

You’re often complimented on your politeness, courtesy, and clear understanding of what’s right and what’s wrong. You’re probably the champion of integrity and upholding your word at the office. While these traits are important, HSPs can be easily peeved by difficult co-workers who don’t share the same traits or values.

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10. You're a problem solver.

Commitment and dedication are qualities that make HSPs great team members. Always attentive to the environment, HSPs are able to sense conflict, mitigate problems, and flag new opportunities.

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11. You notice what others miss.

Ever left a meeting and remarked about your boss’ incessant pen-tapping only for your co-worker to say, “Oh, I didn’t notice that”? Highly sensitive people are attuned to and process noise, chaos, and other external stimuli profoundly, so what may be a major annoyance to you could go pretty much unnoticed by a non-HSP.

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12. You go through tissues like it's your job.

HSPs become overwhelmed more quickly than others, and that often manifests itself in tears. It’s important to realize that while you may be able to manage your emotions more effectively, they are nothing to be ashamed of.

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13. You enjoy working from home.

Highly sensitive people often prefer work environments where they can control external stimuli, such as how well-lit, quiet, or uncluttered their workspace is, making them partial to working from home as opposed to an office with an open layout.

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14. You seek meaning and purpose.    (my meaning purpose is pleasing my male partners sexually)

HSPs are driven by intrinsic factors (such as finding enjoyment in their work) rather than external ones (such as money or prestige). You are the type of person who looks for work that feels like a calling, rather than taking a job just for a paycheck.

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I'm very much a sexual submissive, and I'm serving many sex partners at any

 given time so my life does more than most hinge on my sexual performance.

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If you have spent your life confused and unhappy with your strong emotions, try to think instead about ways that you can use these traits as gifts and leverage them as strengths. Learning about how your unique HSP traits work is the first step. 

                                                                                                                                                 

 14 Traits of Highly Sensitive People | Psychology Today

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The narcissist:  from same author above-Sam Vaknin                         

( I highlight traits that I can relate to below )


•    Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates accomplishments, talents, skills, contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying, demands to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements); 
•    Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion; 

•    Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions); 
•    Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation – or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (Narcissistic Supply);   

( I desire constant sexual attention in order to affirm that I am a "good submissive sex partner" and to   psychologically feminize/emasculate me)
•    Feels entitled. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her unreasonable expectations for special and favourable priority treatment; 
•    Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends; 
•    Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with, acknowledge, or accept the feelings, needs, preferences, priorities, and choices of others; 
•    Constantly envious of others and seeks to hurt or destroy the objects of his or her frustration. Suffers from persecutory (paranoid) delusions as he or she believes that they feel the same about him or her and are likely to act similarly; 
•    Behaves arrogantly and haughtily. Feels superior, omnipotent, omniscient, invincible, immune, "above the law", and omnipresent (magical thinking). Rages when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted by people he or she considers inferior to him or her and unworthy.

Narcissism is a defense mechanism whose role is to deflect hurt and trauma from the victim's "True Self" into a "False Self" which is omnipotent, invulnerable, and omniscient. This False Self is then used by the narcissist to garner narcissistic supply from his human environment. Narcissistic supply is any form of attention, both positive and negative and it is instrumental in the regulation of the narcissist's labile sense of self-worth. 
Perhaps the most immediately evident trait of patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is their vulnerability to criticism and disagreement. Subject to negative input, real or imagined, even to a mild rebuke, a constructive suggestion, or an offer to help, they feel injured, humiliated and empty and they react with disdain (devaluation), rage, and defiance.
 
From my book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited": 
"To avoid such intolerable pain, some patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) socially withdraw and feign false modesty and humility to mask their underlying grandiosity. Dysthymic and depressive disorders are common reactions to isolation and feelings of shame and inadequacy." 
Owing to their lack of empathy, disregard for others, exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, and constant need for attention (narcissistic supply), narcissists are rarely able to maintain functional and healthy interpersonal relationships. 

Many narcissists are over-achievers and ambitious. Some of them are even talented and skilled. But they are incapable of team work because they cannot tolerate setbacks. They are easily frustrated and demoralized and are unable to cope with disagreement and criticism. Though some narcissists have meteoric and inspiring careers, in the long-run, all of them find it difficult to maintain long-term professional achievements and the respect and appreciation of their peers. The narcissist's fantastic grandiosity, frequently coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically incommensurate with his or her real accomplishments (the "grandiosity gap"). 
An important distinction is between cerebral and somatic narcissists. The cerebrals derive their Narcissistic Supply from their intelligence or academic achievements and the somatics derive their Narcissistic Supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and romantic or physical "conquests".

Another crucial division within the ranks of patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is between the classic variety (those who meet five of the nine diagnostic criteria included in the DSM), and the compensatory kind (their narcissism compensates for deep-set feelings of inferiority and lack of self-worth).  

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