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Remaining "Closet"

Even though I've been celibate as a zoosexual since 2000 it is still a touchy subject to talk about.

It is very hard to tell others that your a female-roled sexual partner for large intact male dogs, jack donkeys and stallions

I already knew that I wanted to be like a girl, I'd been performing fellatio on a older neighborhood boy since I was 7 years old, he was sexually mature so he had been ejaculating in my mouth, and I eagerly always ingested his semen since that time.

However when I turned 9 years old I was able to start spending my entire summers vacation at my Aunt Becky's farm, actually she was my Mom's Aunt, yet only 8 years older the Mom, so my great Aunt she was to me.

Any way Edward lived on Aunt Becky's farm and I would often catch him sucking his own penis to the point where he would ejaculate, soon I was wanting to suck his penis so I could ingest his semen.

After a half a dozen times or so of watching Edward doing this, I got down on my knees along side him and took his flared cock head in my mouth, it seemed like in seconds he was ejaculating in my mouth.

After that I would suck his penis nearly every day the rest of the summer, then I was begging Mom to let me spend every weekend at Aunt Becky's after school started in the fall so that I could spend as much time with Edward as possible.

The next summer I was sucking Aunt Becky's great dane Cosso's penis as well, Aunt Becky's good friend Susan owned the farm next door the east side of Aunt Becky's, I was soon sucking Susan's two stallion ponies Timbo and Henry as well.

After watching Edward suck his own penis, I wanted to suck his penis, and he allowed me to, changing my life forever

Aunt Becky would allow some owners of jenny donkeys to have Edward mate with their jennys, so when this occurred I was often able to watch Edward as he actually got to stud a female donkey (jenny).

I simply knew that someday I would be getting studded by Edward, just as the jennys were being studded by him, there was simply no doubt in my mind, it was just a matter of when.

The summer that I turned 12, Edward finally got to stud me.

me at 12 years old

                                                                                                                                                                                                         My role and identity and sexual orientation

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I've always felt because the males that first penetrated me anally and ejaculated up inside my bottom at age 12 were my jack donkey Edward and my great dane Cosso.

Believe me it was such a intense almost traumatic in nature having Edward and Cosso's cocks thrusting up inside my bottom, and when they'd finished studding me, I knew my life would never be normal, because I knew I belonged to them as their female-roled sexual partner, or I knew without a doubt that I never wanted them to ever stop studding me, that was the role I wanted it.


Once they had taken me as their female sexual surrogate, both of them were eager to stud me, and I was extremely eager for them to stud me as often as possible, it was not unusually for each of them to stud me every day, and often multiple times a day, I wanted them to stud me as often as they wished.
I was quickly deeply psychologically feminized/emasculated once I started getting penetrated anally and taking their semen/sperm up inside me, since that time my identity, my role as been a female surrogate sex partner for large intact male dogs and small jack donkeys, small stallion ponies.
Psychologically I unable to form a romantic/sexual relationship with humans because I am so intensely attracted to and very much prefer being with large intact male dogs and all stallion equines, even the largest stallions if they'd let me perform fellatio on them, I'd eagerly ingest their semen.
By about 1987 I was performing fellatio all 35 of the stallions and ingesting their semen at the Jensen group stables at least twice a week, getting studded by the 5 jack donkeys, 6 stallion ponies, and the well over 150 different stud dogs owned by Jensen group members, plus my Edward, my two ponies Timbo and Henry, my two Irish wolf hounds Temper and Obie. 

However due to the law in 2001 which made having sex with my male equines and male canine partners a crime I became celibate, then I soon became a female surrogate sex partner for human males only.

I consider myself a Class X zoosexual

for the most part as being a surrogate female-roled receptive partner for large intact male dogs and stallion equines is by far my ideal and desired sexual role.

Until 2000, I was having sex with the dogs and stallions 90% of the time

In 1999 there were 312 Irish wolfhounds that were studding me

Part of the Jensen group culture was female-receptivity with large intact stud dogs, each female moved out of her mothers house, if she was a receptive zoosexual at that time she got her own stud dog, in 1990 the group began raising Irish wolf hounds for the female members, kept most the male puppies and would sell the female puppies, so by 1999 the majority of stud dogs were Irish wolf hounds.

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Prior to that there were many different breeds of large stud dogs in the group.

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I started getting studded by all the group dogs in 1978, once I turned 16 years old

New 2001 law making having a sexual relationship with a animal a crime

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I have tried to be in a few gay relationships, yet because I don't allow anyone to perform fellatio on me, especially not any males, I can't penetrate anyone with my penis, as I have absolutely no desire to use my penis like a real man, so sex with a gay man can't work.

 

I have no desire to be in a sexual relationship with females, unless she only desires that I perform cunninglingus on her, yet a female is never going to take me as their romantic/sexual partner

 

With straight males, they might let me perform fellatio on them, even penetrate me anally, yet a straight male is never going to take me as their romantic/sexual partner.

The below video is with a individual similar to myself, as he is a the female receptive roled partner with male dogs.

The one thing he mentions in the video above is, he is the receptive partner with his male dog partner, yet takes the penetrating role with human partners.

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This is very different then me, I can only be the receptive partner in all sexual encounters, human or non-human, I am 100% female-roled receptive.

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The three characteristics of myself that I've had since a very early

 

I've wanted to be like a girl

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I've wanted to intensely suck cock

 

I've intensely wanted penetrated by males

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I was sucking my neighborhood friends' penis at age 7, he didn't ask me I literally

begged him to let me suck his penis, once I started sucking him it became a routine. So, since that time, I have always been performing fellatio on males and ingesting their semen/sperm. 

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By the time I was 8 years old I was wearing mom's panty hose under my jeans to school, playing with Barbie dolls etc.

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I started watching my mom having sex routinely through a slightly open door between mom's bedroom and my bedroom with her new boyfriend soon after my mom and father divorced,  I was 6 years old at the time, by the time I was 7 years old I was performing fellatio on a 12 year old male neighborhood friend routinely.

I feel in essence Mom was cuckolding me, because even if I have tried to have a close relationship with a female, I quickly want this new female friend to cuckold me, then I want the male to treat me like a female like mom and the female friends I who ended up cuckolding me.

So in essense the cuckolding dynamic clearly showed me that I needed to be a female-roled male for men due the fact that I was vicariously living through them and wished to be like mom, and a female friend who was having sex with another male, as long as she liked it.

I think because I routinely watched my mom having sex with my step-father from the time I was 6 years old until he left when I was 12 years old, I knew then I wanted to be in her role, and have a man treat me like she was being treated.

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At this time I knew that I desired to have the sex change

(Male to Female type)

 

I'd been getting studded by Edward, Timbo, Henry and Cosso all of the summer of 1975 out at Aunt Becky's

Fall 1975, 7th grade I started to be anally penetrated by several black boys my age, as well as older males, once the the word got out, amongst other guys, I was sought out by many guys in which I was either performing fellatio and or they were penetrating me anally or both, they often gang-banged.

As long as the guys treated me well, their were clean, I would have sex with all the guys who wanted to have sex with me as often as they desired, this lasted only about 3 month then I was publicly humiliated at school after someone "outed" me for performing fellatio on the guys.

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Due to being so publicly humiliated at school Aunt Becky insisted that I move to the farm so I could live with her, and go to the Jensen group school due to my being a very transsexual type and a female-roled zoosexual type. 

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In 1975 age 13 I moved to my Aunt Becky's farm and joined the Jensen group,

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at age 13 I could have sex with all the 12 to 15 year old members at age 16 I could have sex with all members 16 and older and still with the 14 years olds until I turned 18.

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 My role has to be only the passive anal intercourse role or performing fellatio role

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On the farm next to, and west of Aunt Becky's is Ed, Caroline and their son Johnny's farm, Johnny is the same age as myself, I had started sucking Johnny's cock age age 10, then after I moved the Aunt Becky's Johnny started routinely penetrating me anally as well.

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They had two Belgian Draught horses, Merlin and Oliver, both stallions similar to the one in the video below.

I can remember telling Johnny even when I was 10;

"some day I want to suck Merlin and Oliver's cocks and ingest their semen/sperm"

With Johnny's assistance by the summer of 1976 I was routinely sucking and ingesting semen from Merlin and Oliver's cocks.

I like this video because it clearly allows me to see who I am attracted to most, here is a gorgeous guy, gal and stallion, who do I want to have sex with?,

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  I clearly know I would prefer sucking the stallion's cock!

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